Friday, April 6, 2012

Should I Get Baptized?

"God, what more can I do? I know you love me and want me to be happy. I know that I am so blessed to know you and that you are with me always. Tell me what to do and I'll do it. I don't care about the house or the job. I don't even care if I can have another child, just please help me find my way back to happiness."

I uttered this prayer, or a similar version, many times in the Spring of 2007.  My husband, daughter, and I had been attending church regularly for the past 2 years and I was feeling closer to God than ever.  So why was I so unhappy?...You see, in those past 2 years we had opened and closed a business, amassed a lot of debt, and also experienced the miscarriage of our second child back in October.

By this point I was restless and desperate for change.  I was miserable in my current but necessary job and was trying to get over my depression by turning my focus to buying a new house and finding a different job. In hindsight, this wasn't the best plan, because it was mine, not God's.  So it didn't matter what I did or how much I prayed, nothing was happening. Our existing house wasn't selling, my job pursuit was in limbo and no matter what, I could never bring back the baby I lost.

I wasn't mad at God though because I knew He had His reasons and His plans are always better than mine. But I was desperate to change the way I was feeling. To escape the pain. So I was trying with all my might to move my life in a better direction. I didn't want to sit still in that pain.  I wanted God to snap His fingers and make everything right again.  But God wanted me to sit still, be patient, and really listen to what He was telling me.  When I finally did, this is what I heard Him say:

"You need to get BAPTIZED."

What?!...That's not what we're talking about here God. How is getting up in front of the entire church and being dunked into a tank of water going help me feel any better? It would be different if you and I had just met, if I was still basking in the glory of my newfound faith. But we've been walking together since I was a teenager, and to be quite honest I'm really beat down, wondering why you've allowed such loss into my life.  I'm asking you to help me, and you want me to get baptized?!

Yes that really was my first thought...I know, I'm horrible!  But in my defense I didn't grow up in church.  I always believed in God, but not church.  I had my own personal relationship with Him and knew that He loved me whether I went to church or not.  So when it came to baptism I had much the same thought.  It seemed to be a non-issue.  I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior long ago so why did I need to humiliate myself in front of everyone by getting baptized?

And then it hit me like a rock (pun intended - Psalm 18:2)...God revealed to me just how selfish and wicked I really was! I shouldn't get baptized for myself. I should get baptized for HIM!  Jesus suffered the ultimate humiliation...CRUCIFIXION!  He endured the most brutal torture and death, on a cross, for ME! You'd think I could show a little appreciation!

It was no longer a question of, "Should I get baptized?" but rather, "When and where do I sign up?"

I believe it was no coincidence that it was almost Easter, the day that we acknowledge Jesus overcoming that cross, and my church was having a Baptism Bash to celebrate.  My husband had been baptized as a teenager, but he signed up to rededicate his life to Christ right along with me. We were baptized together at a special Good Friday evening service April 6, 2007.

It's also no coincidence that I've been inspired to write this post and publish it today, April 6, 2012.  Exactly 5 years later, AGAIN on Good Friday.  God is so timely!

Anyway...here's the feel-good, fun part of my baptism story:

You may or may not know that my husband and I are die-hard U2 fans. We've been to every concert of theirs since we were in college.  It's about the only music we can agree on. I bring this up because while we were in the pool waiting to get dunked (you know - being humiliated), I noticed that one of our all-time favorite U2 songs, Window In the Skies, was playing over the sound system.  The lyrics of that song so perfectly fit the occasion, that I just knew God meant it especially for us!  It was His way of showing His approval.

How do I know this?  Well...

Since we'd gotten soaking wet the night before, we didn't actually attend the service.  We went back on Saturday for the full experience.  Another group was being baptized and I was excited to hear the song again.  All the services, right down to the music played, are usually the same.  But not this time!...the U2 song was mysteriously missing from the playlist.  I say this facetiously because I believe God was confirming that song was just for us! Who knows?...maybe we were the only ones who heard it at all!  Isn't it just like God to play the perfect song at the perfect time.

And guess what else happened shortly after being baptized?...We got our new house, I got a new job, and we welcomed our son to this world a little over 10 months later.  I found my happiness again.  But what I really learned from this whole experience is that when we take our focus off of ourselves and focus on God, that's when we experience true happiness.

I want to be clear though...God did not answer all of my prayers because I got baptized. Do things seem to have turned around for me as a result?  Yes they do.  But my trouble didn't stop that day.  Quite the opposite.  If you've read my previous post, How I Met Nehemiah, you know that my troubles actually worsened dramatically before they got better.  But I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything!  They've shown me how to completely trust God and learn to be happy regardless of my circumstances.

Because of our own sin nature, our lives will never be perfect or free from trial.  But because of God's perfect Son, who died on a cross to "wash" us free from all our sins (which is what being dunked in the water at baptism symbolizes), we can face those trials head-on with full confidence that God is on our side and that He will use all things for good (Romans 8:28)!

That's what it means to truly walk with God.  And it's as easy for you as it is for me.  Because of Jesus's sacrifice, God is accessible to us all.  He wants to have a personal relationship with you.  You just have to believe, confess your sin, and all is forgiven.  Isn't that the best news ever!

This Sunday let's give an extra special thanks to God by remembering that HE IS RISEN!

And with that I leave you with a little snippet from U2's Window in the Skies:
...
The rule has been disproved, the stone it has been moved
The grave is now a groove, all debts are removed
...
Oh can't you see what love has done
...
What it's done to me

Happy Easter!
 

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