God Is In the Strangest Places!

“Dear God, I have been feeling sorry for myself. I’m tired of praying. I’ve been doing it for awhile now and for the first time that I can really remember it’s becoming clear that those prayers will not be answered. At least not the way I would like for them to be. I must admit I’ve been feeling pretty abandoned. Where have you been? I thought I could always count on you. Why are you letting this happen?”

I don’t know that I actually said this as a prayer. But I do remember that is how I felt for a long time after my dad left in the summer between my freshman and sophomore year of college. My parents had actually announced their divorce 6 months prior. To say it was a shock would be putting it mildly. I’d been fortunate enough to grow up and graduate with both my parents seemingly, happily married. How did this happen? Apparently a lot had transpired over the past year of which I was completely oblivious. I had been wrapped up in prom and high school graduation. After that I was completely immersed in being a college freshman and a sorority pledge. Life was good! But during my first winter break my parents dropped the divorce bombshell and my dad moved out – for a day. And then for whatever reason, he changed his mind, returning the next day, apologizing, and saying that he had made a mistake and that he and my mom were going to work it out. I believed him and returned to college trying to live out my freshman year in ignorant bliss (a.k.a. denial). I remember a friend of mine bluntly saying to me,

“You know they’re going to get divorced don’t you?”

And as mad as I was at him for saying that – he was right. I was devastated.

There is obviously a lot more to this story, but rather than dwell on the depressing details, I’d like to focus on the turn around. The moment I began to heal. I can pinpoint it exactly, the instant when God reached out to me and said,

“I’m here and I will never leave you”.

It was late into fall semester sophomore year. I had been really down and somewhat withdrawn. I went home every weekend to make sure my brother and mom were okay and to just be close to them. I refused to speak to my dad. I did not invite him to the University’s Dad’s Day. I was angry, not only at him, but also at God. I stopped talking to Him too. He was no longer invited into my life either. But here’s where I learned one of the greatest lessons about His love…He’s not that easy to get away from! Let me just say that God shows up in the most unexpected places –

Like the bathroom stall at my sorority house. I know it’s not a pleasant visual but I’m sure that it was only #1!  Anyway, on the back of each stall door there was always a printed calendar that one of my “sisters” so painstakingly put together each month. Besides keeping us all apprised of our upcoming activities, there were always fun little musings, quotes, jokes, etc. that were incorporated into each month’s calendar.

So I was reading the calendar and this one little box just jumped out and practically smacked me in the face. It read,

“God never closes one door without opening another. He didn’t deliver you this far to desert you now”.

I couldn’t take me eyes off that box. A whole new world opened up to me in an instant. I kept rereading it. It was as if it had been written just for me. Lord only knows how long I was actually in that stall. As hot tears streaked my face, I remember feeling comforted and kind of happy for the first time in a long time. I suddenly knew that somehow everything was going to be alright. It was then that I realized that God may not always answer our prayers the way we want him to, but he will never abandon us! It was in a word - Relief!

After that I had an overwhelming need to share this message with my mom and simply telling her about it just wasn’t going to cut it. Now I am not a real crafty person, but I had this undeniable urge to create something tangible to serve as a visual reminder that God is always with us. Much like I was reminded every time I stepped foot in that bathroom for the next month. So I cross-stitched the saying for her, (yeah you heard me…cross-stitched) hoping that it would have the same profound effect on her that it had on me. I hoped it would bring her some much needed comfort. I like to think that it did. She had it framed and to this day it is still hanging in her house, ironically in her bathroom! I don’t even think she knows that’s where I got the saying.

My healing did not happen overnight and I don’t mean for this story to imply otherwise. But I can tell you that I went into that stall a sad defeated little girl and emerged changed forever. My parents’ divorce is the worst and best thing that has ever happened to me, and to steal a saying from my mom, “If that’s the worst thing that ever happens to you, you’re pretty well off!" – I agree! Thankfully the worst part is over and with God’s help I was able to forgive and move on. I have gained such an appreciative perspective that only time can give.  The experience not only brought me closer to God but also to my mom, brother, and eventually my dad.  The best part though is remembering how God chased me down in a bathroom stall and refused to let me go! Amen for that!