2010 the Miracle!

“Dear God,
Okay, I know this is a BIG ask, but I’m going for it…I want to be debt free, all but my house, by the end of this year. I’m going to commit to do all that I know how to do to get us there, but mathematically it’s just not possible. I need you to produce a miracle to forgive this debt, and I’m asking you to do it by the year’s end because that truly would be a miracle! If it is not your will I completely understand and trust that you have your reasons. My only other stipulation is that nobody dies in order for this to happen…I most definitely don’t want to pay off debt that way! I know it’s a lot to ask, and normally I wouldn’t dream of being so audacious, but I’ve learned that I should not insult you by trying to limit your abilities to what only my little brain can comprehend! Thank you for listening to and never tiring of me! It’s going to be a great year! Amen!”

And that’s how I started out 2010 – with that prayer. Our pastor had done a sermon about “The One Thing” that we hoped to accomplish in the upcoming year and we were to take that one thing to God. We were instructed to pray for it to happen, to be specific, and to believe that it would be given. So that’s what I did. I know that I shouldn’t put stipulations on God, like a time limit, because His ways are always better than mine (and rarely the same I might add), but my reasoning for the stipulations was simple. First off, I definitely did not want to prosper from anyone dying - understandable right?! Secondly, the BIG ask needed to be something, well – BIG! Without the time limit it seemed to be something that we could feasibly do ourselves within the next few years. But within a year’s time I could not see ANY possible way for this debt to disappear without a Godly intervention. So I committed to do my part. As you may know from reading some of my other posts (specifically “Screw Nehemiah: NEH Part II posted in Dec. 2010), things have been pretty tight financially around my house over the past few years. On a monthly basis our out-go has been more than our in-flow, so we have depended on my husband’s year-end bonus to make up for that shortfall. Historically his bonus is quite good and God has been making sure that it all works out!

So even though financially 2010 started out much the same way as other years, we decided that we were really going to tighten our belt and commit to sending a specific amount over and above our normal car payment, which would pay it off by the year’s end. We also committed to paying a set amount per month to the credit card which was slightly more than the minimum. By the end of the year, assuming we had a normal bonus, we should be able to pay off that card too. Mathematically that was all I could put together in my mind. I could commit to get us out of debt on the car and the credit card, but that still left the student loan. Even if, and assuming we received a comparable bonus to years past, it would not be enough to pay off the student loan in it’s entirety – see what I mean by a “BIG” ask?!

So that was my plan for the year and I embraced it with a passion (I would say “we” but my husband was not quite as enthusiastic or confident as me, although he did willingly go along with the plan – even sacrificing his beloved OU Season Football Tickets!). I want to mention that we have been tithing faithfully for years now and that did not change throughout this process. I fully believe that when you return your first and your best (to God) that He blesses the rest. I’ve seen it proven in my own life over and over again, so I wasn’t too surprised when things really started to move our way.

In January, my husband’s architectural firm asked me if I would be interested in contracting with them for interior design work – of course I would! Cha-ching!

In the springtime, we got a pretty substantial tax return, which was good but it also reminded us that we had been overpaying our taxes. Which really just means that we were loaning the government our hard earned money all year, interest free! So we reevaluated our deductions and decided to hold out less each month, putting more money in our pocket to pay down the debt.

We also met the deductible on our HSA (Health Savings Account), which meant that we were able to stop contributing so much per month since any bills would now be paid at 100%. Again, more money in our pocket! Things were really picking up steam.

Now my husband usually gets a mid-year bonus as well, but in this uncertain economy he had been warned not to expect or rely on it. But I went right on believing that somehow God would make it all work out. And guess what? -He did. My husband got his bonus, and although it was less than year’s past, it was EXACTLY the right amount to go ahead and pay off the car, four months ahead of schedule! Oh happy day!

Not long after that, I had the idea (obviously a divine revelation) to refinance my house. I had looked into it before but with the interest rate at the time it wasn’t really worth it. But something told me to check again. Monthly, I wasn’t really expecting to save much, but interest rates had dropped so dramatically that I’d be crazy not to re-fi if I could keep my payments roughly the same. So long story short, we did the re-fi and guess what? – not only did I considerably drop my interest rate and save a little money every month, but I got back all of the money that we’d been putting into escrow, AND we got to skip a house payment while everything was processed – two benefits that I had never even considered. So, I combined that escrow money and that monthly mortgage payment and paid off our credit card, 2 months early! All of a sudden I was starting to fathom how we could possibly pay off our student loan by the end of the year. God can always make a way!

So here it is, January 2011 and I had been hoping and sincerely believing that my first post of the new year would be my testimony of how God provided a miracle and that we were finally able to scream “I’m debt free” on the Dave Ramsey radio show (at least that was my fantasy – I think I might need to get a life!). Anyway, while I can’t yet say that we are debt free, I can most assuredly say that God provided that miracle. And here’s how:

In this tough economy the year-end bonus didn’t even come close to previous years, however we were able to pay off two of our three debts before we even knew that to be the case. This monthly savings allowed us to have an all-cash Christmas, which typically we would charge and then pay off with the bonus. That savings also allowed us to balance our monthly budget. Our in-flow is now more than our out-go, yea! We are no longer dependent on that bonus - Praise God!

I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t disappointed or that I didn’t feel somewhat let down by God, but I just remind myself of what He said in Isaiah 55:8-9:

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”

I know this to be true, and I am SO grateful for the miracles that did occur. My favorite thing about 2010, by far, was getting to walk so closely with Him, seeing Him work daily in my life. Sure I wish the student loan was gone too, but I know that He has not abandoned me. It’s just going to happen in His time, His way, and it will work out even better than I could ever imagine! I’ll let you know how and when that transpires. I have a feeling it’s going to be good! So in the meantime, I’ll keep believing God for miracles, recognizing when they happen, and giving Him all the glory! I’m so excited to see what He has in store for 2011 – for all of us! Please feel free to drop me a line if you ever feel like sharing your story! Happy New Year!

Nehemiah's Grand Finale - NEH Part IV

“Dear God,
Thank you so much for the past four years and allowing my relationship with Nehemiah to conclude full-circle. What a circle it’s been! I finally feel restored and like my time to wait patiently may be coming to an end. It might be time to act, but don’t worry, I’m waiting for you to give a clear, “GO!” Thank you for this gift of time to be with my family and to rest and recharge. Thank you for reconnecting me to an old friend and for making new ones. Thank you for being you!  Amen!”

In my last post you found out that Nehemiah was not through with me, even though I thought I was through with him. I am so amazed at how this journey has come full circle. Like I said before, I didn’t really think I had a lot ruins that were in need of repair. I mean don’t get me wrong, I knew I had ruins but I thought I’d completely dealt with them because I’d been walking in such peace relying on God. In my first real encounter with the bible and Nehemiah things didn’t work out quite the way I had planned. But what I’ve discovered is that God had much better plans and the last four years have been amazing! My second encounter with Nehemiah, which was Anne’s bible study, has been a pure blessing! Not only have I been reconnected to an old friend but I’ve been able to see how God has been moving in her life and privileged to participate in a small part of it! I’ve also made some new amazing friends throughout the course of this study and for that I am truly grateful. So to close out this series I’d like to share with you what I think is probably the most important thing that I’ve learned:

The Bible Should Be Our Guide – Always!
I think one of the greatest lessons learned through my journey with Nehemiah is that the Bible should always be our guide. I’ve said before that I always believed in God, but I didn’t really put much stock in the bible. I was always critical of its validity seeing as how it had been interpreted so many times and so many ways by Man – and we know how fallible he is! It really didn’t help that the first time I ever consulted it, I was lead down such a rocky road. I think that’s the main reason why God directed my attention to Nehemiah again; to show me how relevant the bible still is today. It is His living, breathing word; the roadmap that we should all follow.

In Anne’s study on Pg. 104, she had us look up Hebrews 4:12 which reads, “For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.” It most certainly does!

While doing a little research of my own for this blog I stumbled onto this verse:

“His word is always relevant and we should always seek it.” Isaiah 55:11

I thought that summed it up pretty nicely!

Conclusion
I realize now that I used Nehemiah (and the bible too for that matter) superficially before to accomplish my goals. Now I’m learning that I need to slow down and be more like him. Really understand what it was that he did and how he ultimately accomplished the vision placed in his heart by God. He prayed and obeyed God every step of the way. He was patient and acted only when the time was right, after God had cleared the way. He did not let his enemies (earthly or spiritual) distract him from God’s work. By doing all of that he was able to accomplish the seemingly impossible task of rebuilding the wall around Jerusalem in only 52 days. It was a true miracle and he proved that when God places a vision in your heart and mind, not only is it possible to accomplish the task, but highly probable!  The only thing that is impossible is trying to stop you!

I still have my vision. It is not dead. After the walls came crumbling down I thought it was, but just a few months later it started glimmering again. During these last few years I’ve been chasing that glimmer, but only by asking God for His guidance. In doing so I now see that it is MUCH different than I originally thought it to be. It is so much clearer now and it’s shining brighter than ever. No my vision is most certainly not dead. It is very much alive and well in my head and in my heart. I have no doubt that it was placed there by God and by seeking His wise council throughout, it will come to fruition. I have to be patient and act only when He says it’s time. If I find that I have to force something to happen, that’s a sure sign that it’s NOT the right time.
(UPDATE: To see this vision being put into action you can go check out my new design blog at www.RevYourRoom.com)

I think my whole Nehemiah journey has revealed to me that when you are praying and truthfully seeking God’s will, he will never let you fail. Even though at the time it seemed to me like I had failed. I thought that I must have completely missed the mark of His calling or I would have surely succeeded! I've discovered that when you make decisions based on what you think He is telling you to do, they are always the right decisions. I’m not saying you can never go wrong, I’m just saying that God can and will make all things right when you are honestly pursuing His will. You may feel like you made the wrong decision because it did not produce the outcome that you thought it would or should, but it was right in God’s eyes. I don’t think I was wrong to buy a new house. I don’t think I was wrong to pursue a different career path or to consult the bible. All of my perceived “failures” forced me to turn to Him and to realize that He is the only way to truly be successful in this life. To Him my decisions led to success! They brought me closer to Him.

Anne says it very eloquently on Pg. 26, “We are set apart to accomplish His purposes for our lives, not our own.” She later goes on to say, “He will grant you success in His Purposes for your life.”

After participating in my first bible study ever, I can now confidently say that God has completely restored my walls. Hopefully I am now better prepared for the next time they come tumbling down.

Fun Fact from my Full-Circle Moment
While writing this series I stumbled across something interesting. I remembered that in the Intro of the study, Anne had said that she found Nehemiah by accident. She had been studying prayer throughout scripture and got to a verse in Nehemiah when God prompted her to read his whole story. She had not set out to write a bible study, but that’s what resulted from her willingness to go where God called – Thank you Anne! So just a few days ago, out of curiosity, I asked her when she first accidentally found Nehemiah. Her answer…

“March 2007.” – I know!!!...EXACTLY the same time that I found him! Isn’t it so cool when you get a glimpse of how God knits everything together!  He’s AWESOME!!!

Thank you for reading my blog!  I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and that you are abundantly blessed in the New Year!!! 

My Boyfriend's Back - NEH Part III

“Dear God,
Thank you so much for reintroducing me to Nehemiah. Please forgive me for not digging deep enough the first time you introduced us. I am sure I could have avoided a lot of heartache. Instead I just took what I wanted from what you were showing me and ran ahead with my own plans. I know that you have already forgiven me as evidenced by your constant support and unfailing love. It’s been an awesome journey and I can’t wait for you to reveal more of your plan for my life! Thank you for never forsaking me! Amen!”

As you already know from NEH Part I and II of my blog, I hit a pretty rough patch. I honestly thought that I was being obedient to God and His plans for my life. When the walls crumbled and I found myself unemployed, I was in a state of shock, and I was embarrassed. I’d put myself out there. I didn’t play it safe, and besides hurting my pride, now our entire financial life was in ruins. I started to second guess every decision I’d made up to that point. Maybe I wasn’t really hearing from God at all. But after I called out to Him and started to obey His commands by being patient a strange thing happened…I found peace!

Which brings us to today (well actually a few months ago) – I found out through Facebook that one of my friends from high-school, Anne Resler, wrote a bible study (yes she wrote it – impressive I know!). And guess what it’s about?...Nehemiah! I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read about it. Up to this point I had kind of forgotten about Nehemiah. He was like an old boyfriend who did me wrong and I really didn’t want to think back to that time - too many bad memories. But here he was again, knockin’ on my door, asking to come in. I couldn’t resist, I let him in.

Anne doesn’t live here anymore, so when a good friend of hers who does offered to lead the bible study, I jumped at the chance to participate. I had never participated in a bible study before, but I signed up anyway…I mean how could I not? For ten weeks we thoroughly explored the entire book of Nehemiah, which I’m now sure is what I should have done in the first place. He really is an inspiration and I can’t believe I gave up on him so easily. I have learned so much by studying God’s word through his story.

The bible study is titled, “Rising from the Ruins – Restoring the Broken Places of Our Lives.” It starts out asking us to really examine our own “ruins”. At this point I didn’t really think I had any ruins that were still in need of repair. As my story has told, I’ve been walking with God and thought that my wounds had been healed, my walls rebuilt. I had found my peace. But after going through this journey with Nehemiah I realized that they had not been completely restored. After studying his WHOLE story I have a much better understanding of my missteps along the way and why things went the way they did. I want to share with you just a few of the things that Nehemiah has taught me:

Patience
Looking back on my ruins always made me think that I’d done something wrong, disobeyed God, but what I’ve found is that it is quite the opposite. God would ask me to take a step in faith and I would obey. Except instead of taking one step, I’d take four! I was trying to take over for God…not being patient. It just never moved fast enough for me. If I was experiencing something painful, I just wanted to get through it as fast as possible so I could be done with it. Like a band-aid – just rip it off real fast so it doesn’t hurt as much! If it was something good that I was excited about, I just wanted to skip right to it…start instantly living the good life! When things didn’t go the way I thought they should, I immediately thought it was a course correction, like I hadn’t heard God right at all. I thought I’d made a mistake. What I wasn’t accounting for was that God knows the bigger picture and if I trust Him, He will use all things for good. I had not been trusting Him!

Anne makes such a good point in her study on Pg. 11 where she says, “God is sovereign and He always has a plan for the waiting. When He calls us to a time of waiting, it is always for His greater purpose in our life. Our passion cannot run ahead of God’s provision or the plan will become ours, not God’s.”

That’s exactly what I had been doing – running ahead, making it MY plan! To drive this point home even further, she says on Pg. 22, “[Nehemiah] did all of the groundwork and had everything in place BEFORE he shared what God put in his heart to do for Jerusalem.” She was referring to this verse:

NEH 2:11-12
“I went to Jerusalem, and after staying there three days I set out during the night with a few men. I had not told anyone what my God had put in my heart to do for Jerusalem…”

What?! Good to know! I could have used that information about four years ago! Remember the first time I visited NEH I was directed to 2:17-18, which told me that I should “share” my vision with others. So that’s exactly what I did and we know how that turned out. Funny thing is if I had done a little more due diligence and read the five or six verses prior to those, things might have worked out quite differently. By not being patient and trying to speed things up myself, I only succeeded at drastically slowing them down! If I had only trusted God the first time he told me to be patient, I probably could have realized my dream already and moved on to an even bigger one!

God is Our Protector and Defender
In examining my ruins I was reminded of another test of my faith which occurred while I was learning about patience. Practically every time I would tell someone my job-loss story they would respond the same way:

“Are you going to sue? They can’t get away with that? They owe you.”

To be honest, I really contemplated it. I even consulted with a lawyer who thought that I had a pretty solid case, but at what price? I asked myself what I really had to gain besides maybe a year’s worth of pay from a broken promise, and who knew how long that would take. It could be a slow, stressful process, not exactly good for a pregnant lady. And who exactly would I be getting back? Ultimately I would only end up hurting the one person that had been on my side through the whole ordeal – one of my favorite people, my old-boss. The others that had contributed to my ruination wouldn’t suffer a bit - they didn’t own the company. It would be no skin off their backs. Nope! - I decided to leave it in God’s hands, not the court’s, to serve justice and to bring me and my family through this difficult financial time. He is the higher power! I’m positive that’s what He wanted me to do, because He’s been taking great care of us ever since.

During this study I realized that this part of my story is a perfect example of God as defender. The bible says in Proverbs 18:10, “The name of the LORD is a strong tower, the righteous run to it and are safe.”

This image is so beautiful to me, especially when Anne ties it together with Nehemiah’s efforts to rebuild the wall. She says on Pg. 33, “Just as the physical structure of a tower along a city wall was proposed for protection, defense, and safeguarding a city, scripture teaches us that our LORD God does the same for us…[He is] our Protector, Defender, and the one who Safeguards us in our journey. He is positioned next to our weak and vulnerable places [just like the towers are positioned next to the gates in the wall].” On Pg. 35 she goes on to call Him our “escort” – “He protects us. He defends us. Whatever we need to carry out His cause on the earth. He will be our divine escort on the journey. He is our personal armed guard.” Looking back I can definitely see that He has escorted me safely out of many difficult situations (remember my first business venture)!

When I was suddenly left job-less I felt many emotions. Besides being scared for the future, I felt angry and humiliated! How could they break their promise like that? I wanted them to pay. I wanted to defend myself and send a message that they couldn’t treat me like that and just get away with it unscathed. I wanted to sue them! But thankfully I was already trusting God and He gave me the peace I needed to deal with all of those emotions. Who knows – if I had decided to take matters of justice into my own hands I might still be dealing with that mess today. Ugh - that would suck!  Looking back, I now know that making the decision to let God do the defending and protecting for me, was the final piece to finding my peace.

And there actually was some redemption when the tail that was wagging the dog fell off anyway. About three months after my “trial”, two of my main objectors, the ones that everyone was trying so hard to please, left the firm anyway and started their own. Ahhh – a little sweet justice! And just think if I had actually started working there, I would have been blamed for that! There is a God and He is good! I’m so glad I trusted Him. He knows what is best for me, and that was not it!

My next post will be the fourth and final one of the series. I have a little bit more to share about what I’ve learned from Nehemiah and then I promise I’ll wrap it up. I hope you are finding it inspiring…or something! Be on the lookout for Nehemiah’s Grand Finale – NEH Part IV.