Wait. Wait. Wait. MOVE! Wait...

“Dear God,

Thank you for this revelation!  Thank you for shining a light on my next step.  Thank you for reminding me that it does not matter what’s at the end of this path.  As long as I have faith and obey by continuing to step, you will prepare me, protect me, and be pleased with me!  Please help me to be BOLD for you and to never stop telling about everything I have seen and heard!* In Jesus name I pray – Amen!”  * Acts 4:20 NLT

If you’ve read my Nehemiah 4-Part post from December 2010, you already know that patience is not my strong suit.  I like to feel like I’m in charge, so even though I often look to God for answers, I have a tendency to then race ahead and turn His answers into my own plans.  Lately I’ve felt stuck.  Not discontent.  Not unhappy.  Just stuck!  That’s because 4 years ago, God told me to be patient, and I finally obeyed.  But it’s like being stuck in traffic…

Personally, I’d rather take a detour and go the long way if it means I can at least keep moving and get to my destination quicker!  But unless it is a planned and purposeful detour, implemented by the powers that be, I never beat the traffic.  Whenever I decide to be clever and take matters into my own hands by getting off the road and turning around, I never win.  In traffic (or in line at the store) I’m always in the slow lane.  So I jump over to the seemingly faster lane only to be slowed down again as I watch the spot I once occupied fly past me.  Does that ever happen to you?  I’m starting to realize this is a metaphor for my life.  If I’d just practice some patience and stay put, I’d probably to get to my desired destination much faster.

Sometimes God tells us to be patient.  Other times He tells us to get up and MOVE!  Problem for me is I just got used to the traffic.  I was kicking back, enjoying the view, listening to some tunes.  Now the traffic is starting to clear and it’s time to get moving again.  But I don’t want to move.  I’m scared to move.  I saw that bad accident on the side of the road which caused the traffic.  That could have been me…metaphorically speaking – it was me!  I don’t want to face that destruction again.  Maybe I should just turn around and go home.

It’s interesting to me that whether I’m trying to avoid being stuck or I’m scared to move forward, my first instinct is to “turn around”.  Turn around and back-track to find a better, faster way.  Or turn around and go back home where it’s comfortable!  Either way, it’s “back”.  Back in the past.  And I know for certain that God does not want us to live in the past.

He wants us to move forward.  But before we can move forward, we need to slow down, take a deep breath, and resist the urge to turn around.  Live in the “now” and prepare to move forward.

Earlier this year, I read an amazing book called Sun Stand Still, by Steven Furtick.  While there are many great things that I took away from this book, there is one little passage that really spoke to me.  At the top of Pg. 70, referencing Psalm 119:105, it reads,

“The Bible says that God’s word is a lamp to our feet, [a light on our path], not a floodlight beaming to our destination.”

I just love that!  It made me realize that’s what I’m always doing…waiting for the floodlight to illuminate my final destination and every step in between.  But the Bible clearly tells us that ain’t gonna happen!  Probably because we’d really be terrified if we knew the BIG plans God has in store for us!  So I guess I’ll just have to go with faith.  Take the next step that God is lighting at my feet.  Resist the urge to turn around.  Don’t look back.  MOVE forward!

That’s where I find myself these days, trying to resist the urge.  I feel overwhelmed because God has put several things on my heart to accomplish but I lack focus.  I know that He has a plan, and a pace, and an order for everything, but I have been unable to discern what all that is.  It’s frustrating!  My biggest problem is not really that I can’t see the next step clearly; it’s that I see five different steps, all leading a different direction.  None of which are lit very brightly.

Most of my ideas, goals, visions, whatever you want to call them, are related to interior design (which is my actual profession).  But they aren’t related closely enough for me to wrap my arms around and attempt to pursue all at once.  Up to this point I’ve been missing the link that ties them all together as one BIG vision, with one set path to get there.  Until now…

A couple of weeks ago I could NOT sleep.  I just had all of these ideas rolling around in my head wanting me to do something with them.  I just kept thinking and praying, “What should I pursue first?”  Tired of waiting for an answer I decided to get up and go do something productive.   Looking back, I’m pretty sure that was my answer,

“MOVE!”  He said.

Even before starting this blog, I’ve felt led to start a design blog, but I plan to tie it into an even bigger idea that I have for an eventual interior design business (TAWNT - Topic for A Whole 'Nother Time).  I must be debt-free before I can start this new business (read Jan 2011 post), so I haven’t even worried about that blog yet.  But plans change and for some reason when I got up that night I felt an overwhelming urge to at least check and make sure the name I wanted was available.  It was, so I went ahead and set up my new blog.  I also ordered a book online that I’d been meaning to read for months.  Was the traffic starting to move a little, or was I just taking another self-imposed detour?  I sure hoped not!

When my book finally arrived, I gobbled it up in a day.  It was great but still didn’t make any of my possible steps glow any brighter, that is until I read the back cover about the author, Seth Godin.   It said that he was the founder of www.squidoo.com.  What the heck is that?  I had to go check it out and what I found was a whole new world…a site that allows you to easily create mini websites, called “lenses”, for FREE!  How much FUN!  I can’t even begin to scratch the surface of explaining this, but let’s just say I was hooked!  I’d found a shiny new toy!

So I created a lens and I’m sitting there writing and listening to The Dave Ramsey Show.  He’s talking to his caller about pursuing a better career and finding his passion.  Then he asked the caller, “What would you do if money were no object?”

“WRITE!”

What?  Who said that?  Not the guy on the radio – oh wait…that was me! I startled myself with my own thought being so forcefully screamed by my brain!  All of a sudden it is so obvious.  My next step is to “write.”  That’s the missing link.  That’s the thing that is going to tie all of this stuff together!

This is what God wants me to do.  He’s lighting the path at my feet.  I don’t know why.  I don’t know how. I don’t know if I’m any good.  I just know.  I know that through writing I’m going to find some peace and gain the focus needed to start down the lighted path.  God is saying “MOVE!”  And I am saying, “Amen!  It’s about time!”