Seriously God?...AGAIN?!

"Seriously God?  Seriously?  What's up?  I thought you were pleased with me.  I've been doing everything you asked me to do...even things I don't particularly want to do - I'm doing them.  So why is everything working against me all of sudden?  Why has this plague decided to settle on my house, and why are you allowing it?  I know none of it is life-threatening (thankful for that), and I know I've dealt with it all before - but not all at once!  Why am I having to deal with all of this stuff AGAIN?  Please make it stop!  Thank you for listening to me and loving me! -Amen!"

Yes, I know.  This is an extremely whiny, woe-is-me prayer.  But it's how I felt and there's no sense in trying to hide your feelings from God, He already knows them.  Just like He knows I still love Him and understands that sometimes a girl's just gotta vent!

So let me back up and fill you in.  If you read my post 2 months ago, you already know that my house was struck by lightning - AGAIN!  One year after the first time, in the exact same spot.  So that blows holes in the theory that "lightning never strikes twice!"  At the time I was thankful (again) that nobody was hurt and that our house did not catch fire, but everything's been going downhill ever since.

Over the summer I really felt like God had been speaking to me, showing me His plans and bringing them into focus.  He's asked me to do some things that are really out of my comfort zone.  And I've been doing them, partly because He's also shown me some things that I'm really excited about.  And like I always tell my kids,

"Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do, to be able to do the things you do want to do." 

Don't you think I should probably take my own advice!  You know - try to be a good example.

Needless to say I've really been looking forward to school starting back up so that I would have time to get things moving.  But so far there's only been 1 week out of 5 that both kids made it to school everday.  Every week somebody in my house has had some sort of ailment.  Sparing you the graphic details, let's just say that from head to toe I've dealt with or experienced EVERY disgusting bodily function you can think of!  Not to mention that we've made 5 trips to the doctor, one of which was a 6 hour, Friday night date with my son to the ER - good times!

Now I know this is all part of life.  I know you've dealt with it all too...more than once.  But did it hit all at the same time, one thing after another, starting with your house being struck by lightning AGAIN?  Probably not.  Please forgive my self-absorbed crankiness.  I know my life is not any worse than yours or anyone else's.  And I am SO grateful that we are not dealing with anything more serious that we don't already know how to handle!  I just really want you to understand this continual theme I have running through my head of:

"Oh no!  Not AGAIN!!!"

So enough with the belly-aching, because this story actually has a pretty amazing twist.  God took my whiny prayer to heart and showed up where I least expected Him - AGAIN!  If you've never read my post 7-Year Anniversary Miracle, this would be a good time to do so.

In the midst of all this sickness and chaos, Jace and I have had to reschedule our anniversay dinner 3 times.  As you know, we go to the same restaurant every year, Boulevard Steakhouse, and just splurge like there's no tomorrow.  We make sure to save up the cash for our once a year treat and for one night we forget all about our debt-free quest.

This year's anniversary is lucky number 13 (which could explain these unfortunate circumstances we've been experiencing- AGAIN!  Good thing I'm not superstitious).  It's been 6 years since "the miracle," and we still get excited about our annual celebration dinner along with the complimentary dessert given for such an occassion.  But for some reason last year our anniversary was overlooked, along with the dessert.

Not wanting to seem cheap, and still feeling grateful about our 7th anniversary meal, we didn't say anything.  But this year we wanted to make sure they knew it was our anniversary, so Jace casually worked it into the conversation with our waiter.  We felt a sense of accomplishment when they brought out our dessert with the special little "Happy Anniversary" chocolate on it.  Operation Free-Dessert was a success!  So imagine our surprise, shock, and utter delight, when our waiter came out with our bill, laid it on the table, and said:

"Here's your check but it's already been taken care of."

Yes!  The entire bill.  I know!...AGAIN!!!  (Did I mention that the restaurant is Boulevard Steakhouse?)

Are you completely blown-away?  Speechless?  So were we!  It made me laugh and cry all at the same time.  In that moment, God spoke to us AGAIN.  He knows we are going through a lot right now, but He reminded us that He is in control and He loves us.  This is all part of His great plans for us and He can use all things for good.  I completely believe Him.

Interestingly, in church this week the message was called "Passing the Test."  We looked specifically at James 1: 2-5

2 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.  5 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.

I do think we are in a time of testing.  The plague is still on-going.  We're on week 7 of somebody being sick with something.  But God showing up for our 13th anniversary and producing a miracle - AGAIN, gives me the strength to keep going, keep the faith, and to endure it all with a spirit of JOY!

So if you get nothing else out of this story, I hope that you remember that God is always there for you.  Again and AGAIN!!!

The Interior Designer I Almost Wasn't

"Dear God,
I don't know what to do.  I thought I was on the right path.  I thought I finally came across something that I'm interested in that I might be good at.  But now it looks hopeless.  Let's face it, we both know that I'm not an artist.  In fact, I'm not anything.  Why haven't you blessed me with any real talent?  Why am I always just average?  I'm running out of time...I have to declare a major and soon!  Please don't let me end up with a boring undefined major, dooming me forever to a life of average.  Is that really what you want for me?"

Yeah, I prayed it.  After running home crying and throwing myself dramatically onto my bed.  And yeah, it was a serious moment of spectacular self pity.  It makes me laugh to think about it now!  In fact I think I heard God chuckling a little too when he answered me.

It was Fall 1992, my sophomore year of college and I still hadn't declared a major.  My dad was often suggesting that I should be an Engineer because "they make good money right out of college", but I never liked math, even though I was pretty good at it.  I probably should have been flattered that he thought I was smart enough to be an engineer, but all it made me think was that I didn't possess any real talent to do something, ANYthing else.  Something exciting.  Something glamorous.

Most of my friends knew what they wanted to be, lawyers, medical professionals, teachers, politicians...none of which interested me.  Which added to my stress because now I was thinking not only am I not talented, but I'm not interesting either.  In order to be interesting you have to be interested - right?!

At the time, I was living in the sorority house (Yes I know...this is just one example of how absurd it was for me to think my life was just "average").  Anyway, my soon-to-be Lil Sis, a freshman who had already declared her major, was always creating these cool projects for her studio class.  When I asked, she told me she was an Interior Design major.

"Really?" I said, thinking that my mom was really good at decorating and she never went to school for it.  "I didn't know you could major in decorating."

"Oh, interior design is NOT decorating," she quickly informed me.  "It's really more like architecture.  It's even part of the College of Architecture and my studio classes are combined with the architecture students - for the first two years anyway."

Wow!  This was starting to sound really cool, maybe even promising.  My wheels were cranking.  Maybe I could do this.  It was not Art.  It was not Math.  It was not Science.  It was not Boring.

I thought, "I can do this.  Afterall, I'm creative.  I mean just look at this C-U-T-E Lil Sis wall-board I just made, and how much I enjoyed making it.  And look at my dorm room last year.  It was pretty awesome...who else had purple spray painted concrete block shelving?!  Nobody!  And have you seen the fabulous bulletin board that I made (with mom's help)!"

So I got myself all psyched up and scheduled a meeting with the director of the Interior Design program.  And that's when my enthusiasm bubble burst.  This somewhat quirky lady was going on and on about how difficult the studio programs were.

You only got 5 credit hours for a class that actually met for 10.5 total hours a week.  And that didn't even include the extra time you would be working there to complete your projects for that class.  Nor did it include all of the other classes I would need to take.  And as if that weren't enough, there were 8 semesters of studio which had to be taken sequentially.  The odd numbered ones were always in the Fall, so I would have to wait until the next Fall to start.  Not only would I technically be a Junior in Freshman classes, but it would end up taking me six years to graduate because there was no way to catch up.

And on...and on...and on...!  And then to top it all off, she suggested that if I was really serious about this, I should enroll in an Art studio class next Spring.  It wasn't required in the Interior Design curriculum, but she "highly recommended it" so that I could experience what a studio class was really like before next fall.

ART!...Ugh!  That was my worst nightmare!  I mean I liked to look at art, but I couldn't draw worth a flip!  And to make it even worse, we would be drawing...NUDES!  I couldn't even draw good cartoon figures, let alone the real human anatomy!  Oh the horror of it all!  Now you see why I cried all the way home.

"God, it's too hard!  I'm not cut out for that!  I clearly don't have what it takes!  That lady, the director, did everything she could to discourage me.  She could obviously tell that I'm not up to the challenge!"

And then I felt God say to me (through His chuckling at my overblown, teen angst, pity-party):

"Why are you listening to her?  And why are you listening to anyone other than me?  I AM the only one you need to listen to and I say you can do this.  I made you to do this.  You have the right gifts, you just need to discover them.  Don't give up so quickly or you will miss out on all the good things I have planned for you.  Just listen to me and I will show you the way!"

Okay so I didn't actually "hear" those words, that's just what I felt.  I had this calming peace come over me and my attitude took a 180.  Forget that lady.  I'm smart and I'm a hard worker (when I want to be).  And I don't have to take an Art class if I don't want to.  She said it herself, it wasn't required.  I could just wait until next year and start then.

So that's what I did.  I ignored the Director's advice and the rest is history.  It did take me 6 years to graduate but I needed those extra years to finally discover that I was blessed with some talent.  I shutter to think of how my life would have gone had I not faced my fears and with God's help pursued my purpose.

Remember those architecture students that my Lil Sis mentioned?...I married one.  If I would have let my own negative thinking get the best of me I never would have met him, or some of my best friends to this day.  More importantly, I never would have met ME...the real me anyway!  And I wouldn't be living this abundantly blessed, extraordinary, anything BUT average life!

Interesting twist to the story...remember the director that almost talked me out of my destiny?  Well sadly, by the time I actually started the interior design program the next fall, she was no longer there.  She was diagnosed with cancer and passed away shortly after.  The program did not hire a permanent director until my senior year (actually 3rd senior year if you want to get technical).  One of her first tasks was to set up a design scholarship award in the name of the former director.  I was the first recipient of that award.  Ironic - I know!  It was definitely a full-circle moment.

So, the moral is, you know you're onto something when it seems too big and too scary to accomplish.  When you're seriously doubting if you're good enough.  You know you're on the right path because your spiritual enemy is coming after you with all he's got, trying to trip you up.  Whispering in your ear...

"What makes you think you're good enough, smart enough, talented enough...?  You'll never make it!  You don't have what it takes!..."  I've learned that you just have to tell him to go straight "home" and try to see yourself the way that God sees you - which is PERFECT!  He makes no mistakes.  You are His perfect creation and He has equipped you with everything you need to fulfill His purposes.  Trust Him!

This is something of which I continually have to remind myself, especially as I enter this new, exciting, and scary chapter of my life...once again it's time for me to step out in faith.  If you're curious, check out my new blog RevYourRoom.com.  I hope it speaks for itself...and to you!

Bless This House - AGAIN!!!

"Dear God,
Bless this house oh Lord I pray, keep it safe by night and day - Amen."

CRACK!  BOOM!  Foundation SHAKIN!  Dishes RATTLIN!  Power FLICKERIN! - all in a millisecond!

I sat straight up in bed and could hear myself making that sound.  You know that sound you make when you're surprised or scared.  That sounds like a really long "huh?" only you're inhaling instead of exhaling.

"HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!?!?!?!"

My sound woke up Jace, "What?"

"Didn't you hear that?"

"It was thunder," he said trying to calm me down.

"No!  Didn't you HEAR that?  We were just struck by lightning!"

"It was just thunder and the power is out," he assured me as he hopped out of bed to check it out.

"No!  We were struck by lightning - AGAIN!"  I insisted, following him up the stairs.  Our daughter met us at the top.

"What was that?"  she asked in a scared voice.  I was having Déjà vu.

Jace headed towards the computer with the intent to silence its continuous screech, indicating that it was in a serious flatline.  I went and looked out my daughter's window.  Yep, there was debris in the yard - AGAIN!  And there was that sick, smoky, burnt smell - AGAIN!

"Jace, don't you smell that? And there's debris in the yard.  I'm telling you we were hit - AGAIN!"

He couldn't make the screeching stop.  Abandoning it, he went out to brave the storm and look for damage.

"Mommy..." my daughter says, "my tooth fell out!"

What?  I stopped my frantic pacing to look at her and process what she'd just said.  "You're tooth fell out?  When?"

"I just woke up because I felt it in my mouth and then I heard the thunder."

Ha ha!  I little comic relief right when I needed it.  Just then Jace came back inside.

"We were hit," he said.

"Really?!"  I knew it but I still had a hard time believing it.  Once you've heard the sound of lightning hitting your house you will NEVER forget it!  "In the same place?"

"Yep."

So for anyone who thinks "lightning never strikes twice", I've got bad news for you!  I'm living proof that it most definitely does.

When this happened last year I saw it as a blessing.  Nobody was hurt and everything could be fixed. I have no idea why God would allow this to happen - AGAIN, but He certainly has my attention.  This time I see it as an even bigger blessing.  God showed us that He is in charge and looking out for us - AGAIN!

Interesting little story though...the next morning I got up and the first thing I usually do is read my daily bible verse on YouVersion (the bible app for your phone).  Well, it wouldn't come up because our wi-fi was fried!  Ugh!  Of all days, I really needed some guidance, some encouragement, which I can always count on from God's word.  Then it hit me - Duh!  I can just read my real bible.  So it wouldn't be part of the reading plan I was doing, but this would be fun, even more revealing.  I decided that I would just pick up the bible, open it, and the first thing I saw would obviously be what God wanted me to read that day.  So I opened it and this is what I saw:

Isaiah 6:1-4 (NLT)
1 It was in the year King Uzziah died that I saw the Lord. He was sitting on a lofty throne, and the train of his robe filled the Temple. 2 Attending him were mighty seraphim, each having six wings. With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they flew. 3 They were calling out to each other,

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of Heaven’s Armies!
The whole earth is filled with his glory!”

4 Their voices shook the Temple to its foundations, and the entire building was filled with smoke [emphasis mine].

If you know anything about me by now (besides the fact that I have a really great memory) it's probably that I do not believe in coincidence.  When I read passage 4, I felt like it was exactly describing my house when the lightning stuck.  Intrigued by this idea I read all of Chapter 6 and then some of the supporting documentation to learn more about Isaiah.  Turns out he is considered the greatest Old Testament prophet and is quoted at least 50 times in the New Testament.  The "Key" verse, which is also in Chapter 6 (again no coincidence here), reads:

8 Then I heard the Lord asking, “Whom should I send as a messenger to my people? Who will go for us?”

And I said, “Lord I'll go! Send me.”

Isaiah was humbled and changed by his unforgettable vision of God, so much so that he immediately answered God's call on his life to be a messenger.  God did not encourage Isaiah with promises of success.  As a matter of fact He basically told him that the people would not listen, but he needed to spread the message anyway.

That is how I feel.  I hear you God.  I know your power.  I know your love and your mercy.  I'll go!  Send me. 

There is so much more to this chapter than I can possible go into right here, right now.  But I've covered the parts that spoke to me the most that day.  I took it as a sign that I am to continue to be God's messenger.  Now please do not misunderstand me, I am not claiming to be a modern day prophet or anything.  Just that I feel called to keep doing what I'm doing through this blog.  Maybe nobody will read it.  Or if they do, maybe nobody will respond to it.  But if there's a chance that it helps even one person then it is worth it. 

So I'll wrap this up by thanking God for blessing our house and keeping us safe - AGAIN!  Amen!