Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep...

“Dear God,
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. Amen
P.S. Please keep those little devils locked tightly in my closet…Amen!

This is the prayer of a five-ish year old little girl, that girl being me. I have said this prayer every night for as long as I can remember. My mom taught it to me and we would always say it together (not the “P.S.” part). I know this prayer has stirred some controversy as to whether it is too scary for children, and that it’s been revised to make it more kid-friendly, but I’ve always liked the original. I don’t remember ever thinking it was scary. I always found it comforting (and still do) to think that God was watching over me as I slept and even if something should happen, and I never woke, I took comfort in the fact that I would be with Him.

So why did I add the “P.S.” about the devils if I wasn’t scared? Well I was scared, but not because of the prayer. To be real honest, I’m not certain that I actually added that to my prayer…I mean that was almost 35 years ago so it’s a little fuzzy around the edges. But here’s what I do remember quite clearly:

I was lying in my bed, in a room that I shared with my baby brother. I thought I saw something moving under his crib and when I sat up to look, two little cartoonish looking devils, complete with horns and pitchforks, crawled out from underneath it. They didn’t say anything, just laughed demonically as they pulled me from my bed and led me toward the closet. The door was open (hadn’t mom closed that before she tucked me in?!) and all I could see through the opening was darkness engulfed in flames (I knew it! – the closet WAS in fact the gateway to hell!). The two little devils walked ahead of me, still pulling me by my hand. I could hear them whispering, but couldn’t make out what they were saying. Just as I was about to panic I heard the command,

“Look down!” in a very clear voice.

When I looked down there was a rock, like a river rock, on the floor. I reached down and picked it up with my free hand. Instinctively, I knew what to do with it. I slipped it into the devil’s hand that held mine. Success! He didn’t even know that I’d escaped. I stood there and watched as the two little devils entered my inferno of a closet and the door slammed shut behind them, securely locking them away. In the dark, I stood there relieved, knowing that God was right there with me. It was His voice that I had heard. He saved me, protected me - my soul, that night, I would keep!

You’ve no doubt already figured out that I had a bad dream – well sort of a nightmare-turned-most wonderfully significant dream of my life. I’m sure that some of you are skeptical that I can even remember a dream from so long ago, but let me assure you – I do! Ask anyone who knows me well and they will tell you that I have an EXCELLENT memory (keep your Rain Man jokes to yourself please). Not a photographic memory and I’m terrible with remembering numbers, but a very detailed, situational memory. I think it’s because I really try to live in a moment and pay great attention to all of the sensory details. Also, growing up we moved every couple of years, so it’s fairly easy to remember things based on where I was, allowing me to pinpoint the time period pretty accurately.

I know that I was about 5 because we lived in Saudi Arabia from when I was 3-6 in a tiny 2-bedroom complex where I had to share a room with my brother. I was 4 when he was born, and I’m sure that both he and my parents would like for you to know that we did come back to the States and stay with my grandparents in Illinois so that he would be born in the good ol’ U.S. of A.! Anyway, that’s why I’m guessing I was close to five, because the dream took place in that room at the same time I was actually living there. The dream was so real that I don’t even remember when I crossed over from being asleep to awake. I just know that I was awake in that room, closet door closed, knowing that God was with me. I wasn’t scared in that moment, but to this day I cannot go to sleep without closing the closet doors! And I always make sure my kids closet doors are shut tight too! Practically every time I go through this ritual I remember my dream and how it was my first real introduction to God as my Savior.

I am not trying to claim that I understood the meaning or symbolism of this dream at such a young age, just that I knew God was real and He was (and still is) looking out for me. I attended a Christian Pre-School while living in Saudi Arabia, so I’m sure those story-time teachings with the characters on the felt board had their influence on me. If you’ve read some of my other blog posts you’ve probably figured out that going to church and reading the bible are relatively new to me. In fact I just did my first bible study a few months ago. So imagine my overwhelming surprise when I came across this little jewel:

The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. Psalm 18:2 NLT

I know, pretty amazing right?! And there are so many other passages like this in the bible that I can’t even begin to list them all. I am so blown away every time I come across one. After all these years my dream finally makes sense.  I always knew that I had heard God and felt His presence in my dream, but I never thought I actually saw Him, until now…He was the ROCK!!!
 
God is SO awesome that He came to me in a dream when I was five years old, to save me from my spiritual enemy (or in this case - little cartoon minions), and to show me, literally, that He is my rock, my solid foundation! That’s how much God loves me, and He wants me to tell you that He loves you just as much! Amen for that!